On this Mother's Day, I have seen several self deprecating posts regarding blended families. It is far too common that the stepmom is undervalued or not recognized on Mother's Day. That is a fact. HOWEVER, the common theme is playing victim. Post after post is about how upset they are about not receiving a gift, or flowers, or given some tangible recognition for the role they play in the blended family they are a part of. Something I hope to help ring a bell for whoever is reading this- IF YOU STAY IN YOUR STORY, IT WILL CONTINUE TO BE THE SAME DAMN STORY.

If you are vibrating on the "poor me" frequency, that is exactly what you will continue to get. What is most important or of value to you here? Is it really getting a gift on this commercial holiday? Why is it upsetting to you that your stepchild gave a gift to their mother and not you? I encourage the step moms out there to really think about what they are feeling and attracting. OF COURSE you are valued! You are just as much a mother as the mother that pushed that child out of their physical body! I COMPLETELY understand what it is like to feel like you do so much, and you feel like this is a thankless job, and your stepchild(ren) will always love their biological mother more than you, etc. I felt that way when I first became a part of a blended family. Then I realized that my motivation for everything I did wasn't me being selfless and giving because I truly wanted to give, but because I thought I was going to receive something or some recognition for what I was doing or who I was being. When I shifted that, things around me started shifting. Give and take became natural and very fulfilling. The key is the mindset! If you are truly giving to give, that in itself is incredibly fulfilling, but it also signals to the Universe which frequency you are vibrating on- that, my dear, is how you will naturally receive it back. We've all heard, "as soon as I stop trying so hard, things came naturally." THAT is they key! Focusing on what you do not want, or how badly you feel for yourself because of the circumstances, or that you are not enough, or that you will never be recognized as someone special on a commercial holiday, will only provide more of what you do not like or want in your life. Don't believe me? Try it. What do you have to lose if you think you have tried everything else to change things?

The most important person to acknowledge you is you. Then your partner. Then the kids and anyone else that you may deem important. LADIES, it is time to get off of the victim bus! YOU validate your worth. YOU are 100% responsible for your internal happiness and health. Surrendering to what is, is the game changer. I actually thought at one point that what I am writing now was a bunch of crap. Only when I saw tangible results and things change did I really believe it. It doesn't matter the situation... bio mother, partner, kid issues- it all begins in your mind. Every single damn thought you think becomes a feeling. That feeling becomes an action. The action creates your life. If you love being the victim and having something to complain about daily, keep drivin that bus, girlfriend! If you are ready to take responsibility and create a more peaceful blended family life for yourself, start with your mind. Though the memes about crying your way through Mother's Day may be comical, this is your life we are talking about. This is your ONE life. Do you want someone to tell this as your story after you die? If not, give me a call. You got this. Love yourself.

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